Success . . . the failure of us all

Something I wrote here while back (probably '96-'99) but I really don't remember when.

"Success is the object of simple minds. Mere success leaves unaccomplished and undone half of life's ventures. Stapling oneself to the objectification of success requires primarily a lowering of the overall standard for which we should strive, foreseeing only the minimal level of achievement and accomplishment that necessarily provides and instills notions of acceptance from society. This not only precludes those at the precipice of greatest achievement from reaching those heights, but it also keeps those who have achieved the greatest possible accomplishments for his own person, only to have society as a whole view them or cast them as failures. Truly, this provides the greatest problem for success. Have you succeeded if you have not achieved your own personal best or if your personal best is not consistent with social ideas of success, have you failed?"

To add to that, if I lift a drink to my mouth and swallow the beer that is in the glass, am I, thus a success? Am I a failure because some would call me an alcoholic, merely because I have had a sip of fermented beverage. Who is successful then?

But those are my thoughts. They've long been stewing, and will ever.

AFN
DCC
2 August 2009 (from much earlier in my life, but not sure when)

Old Standbys

One from my Easter visit to Vidalia and from UGA's campus last week.



Tilling the land: Something, that is as the title suggests, is a standby at my parents house, and it was good to see Dad actually being able to get into his garden this year after a couple years having to miss it, whether it being grandchildren being born or a trip to Okinawa.

The Oldest UGA Standby: Franklin College, or as it's so creatively called today 'Old College', with the fountains having just been turned back on after the 3 year drought and now using water from AC condensation and other sources.

Not a whole lot else today, might be a very light week as I'm getting ready for a business trip to Columbus & Chicago this week.

AFN
DCC
Athens, 20 April 2009

Reviving the Picture of the day, maybe, hopefully . . .

Just seeing what I can do to get this 'back' since I've gotten a new fotoaparat (that's Bulgarski for camera). Some of them will be thematic, others, as this one will be, will be random 'composition' photos or ones when I'm just trying to figure out my new camera. I may even put a couple up on this one.

Lamp at Night: This is one of the lamps that's in my room at my parent's house. Like it or not, it was my grandparents' set at one point. Just thought the picture showed the texture of the lamp well. 11 Apr. 2009

Sacred to the Memory of . . . : Bridget Royston, the consort of Capt. Wm. Royston. Just one of the headstones 'off to the side' so to speak of the Colonial Cemetery in Savannah. 11 Apr. 2009.

Took a trip with Mom & Dad to Savannah, GA yesterday for a cousin's wedding, which is where the second picture was taken.

AFN
DCC
Vidalia, GA 12 April 2009

The Baffled King Composing Hallelujah

Today marks precisely one year since I returned to the US for 'good', and as disingenuous as it will sound to post something that I put in my journal today before I remembered/realized that it had been a year. I'm going to do that, because it does that whole 'where they goin', where they been' thing. As I listen to Jeff Buckley's gut wrenching rendition of Hallelujah . . .

"It's a cold & it's a broken hallelujah."
You rejoice for leaving somethings, but there's always something that you miss, and yet always something for which you are grateful where you are right now. I hit both of those today as I was sitting in Manor, GA at Moore's Country Store & Deli and wrote this after I'd finished my college fair at Waycross College and my high school visits to Ware Co. HS & Ware Magnet School (first a picture):

The UGA van sitting in front of Moores Country Store & Deli. Home to the awesome steak sandwich that I had today, with the freshest and best tomato that I've had since I was in Bulgaria.

1 Oct. Manor, GA Moore's Country Store & Deli
" . . . Wel one great thing about travelling is the unique food opportunities. I had not expected more than a country fry-up, and that's essentially what I'm getting, but to have ordered my food (steak sandwich w/ potato logs & butter beans) & a tea and to be told, "Just gitcha a cup 'round in the dining area and grabya a pitcher out of the Coke cooler over there. Have a seat & I'll bring it out to ya." I just smiled . . .

. . . And to listen to the local talk the things, as usual, turn to weather & animals: a gator looking for water and 'there ain't no water near our place. Standin', plenty, but nuthin' running.'; and hunting and a year's worth of meat out of a couple does and a hog or two, not to mention how 'city folks' who go to Wal-Mart and get their green meat don't know meat's not green . . .

. . . I haven't taken it easy in a while getting back to anything in terms of travel. I'm glad I stopped off at this little store with old dial/rolling number gas pumps and benches for sitting out front.

When I left the first time, I asked about the squash and zucchini that they had & made a comment about how good the tomato on my sandwich had been and that you couldn't get a tomato like that from the store any longer, that they were more like cardboard & from CA or FL, and the lady managing the place responded that "We'll have them by the bucket in about 3 weeks and they're picked and growed right over there." Pointing toward the back of the store, the otherside of which lay the family farm.

So I came back for tomatoes & squash/zucchini. And now as school has let out it's become a popular place as I'm sure it does daily about this time.

As I sit writing the first part of this entry I realized that the reason or a reason that I haven't written as much is that I haven't, as I did in Bulgaria/Europe, had the time waiting for trains or buses that was such a commanding part of the experience there. I wished to get away from the wait then. Now, I wish I had the waits. The way 'they' once were: locally grown, slower, where everybody says 'hey', and someone just might walk out the door and say, "A little Coke!" (as a guy did in reference to my glass bottle of Coca-Cola), longing for a little nostalgia of their own. The only difference is that my 'Coke' in Bulgaria probably would have been a kafe, and the part about people wouldn't be saying 'hey' as they walk in the store. But definitely slower & home grown."


It's amazing how close or how many connections I can find between Bulgaria & the US esp. the Southern US.

Love my job.

AFN
DCC
1 October 2008


PS. I'm now working, and enjoying what I'm doing, as the South Georgia Outreach Officer for The University of Georgia's Undergraduate Admissions Office. It's rare that someone gets to combine a love for 'where they goin' & where they been' in one job. Again, one of the things for which I'm utterly grateful at present.

The Journey Continues . . .

May it Never end!
Next Stop (i.e. there now): WASHINGTON, DC. Yeah, never in a million years thought I'd be in living in DC. I'd barely seen the monuments/capitol, etc., and now I'm living within sight (a block) from the Supreme Court and Capitol, and with the Washington Monument within viewing distance. I'm working with UGA's new Washington Semester Program as the Program Assistant. That said . . . one more chapter. Unfortunately, though I've had the time I haven't had the opportunity nor made the opportunity to write nearly as much as I did in Preslav. One the cafes are MUCH more expensive, two the museums have kept my attention pretty well, and three my bags were lost which has kept the rest of my attention (yes, one of the bags is still lost).

That said, some explanation is due for the absence of posts, etc. First, the hiatus is partially my fault (ok, wholly my fault, but I claim partiality b/c of a paranoia induced by an incident almost exactly a year ago).

The incident, involving a certain ATM story and complaints on my part sparked a fury of a witch hunt by the woman who would become my 'former' couterpart because she thought I hated all things Bulgarian, which is a LIE AND A FALLACY (redundancy inserted for dramatic effect) of the worst sort. Now, if you want me to say that everything that I ever did and experienced in Bulgaria or ANY place that I lived, Vidalia, Athens, Columbus, Washington, was fantastic and I never had any issues or thoughts of 'Oh, that sucks', then we could talk about another lie.

Ultimately it came down to a mistranslation of cultural values and ideals.
Bulgaria: tell people what they want to hear and that things are 'ok.'
US: if you have to tell it like it is, you may have to 'live with it', but you should do so rather than lie.

Now, both of these are generalizations, but, by and large, true in both cultures. The catch is, Bulgaria is much more homogeneous than the US, and as such makes for easier and truer generalizations than most Americans can imagine. Yes, there are people in both places who 'break' the stereotypes.

Ok, so, this is what I wrote (all in italics) and posted on this blog that caused such a shit storm. Looking back at it a year-on from what I called the 'Weekendus Horribilus', I somewhat see where she was coming from, but re-reading it from my perspective. It's frustration, and if you've never been frustrated, then go to Never-Never Land or something like that. I walked home after talking with my then-counterpart stumbling step-by-step (no smartass NKOTB references, please) like I'd been socked in the gut, barely able to breathe and not sure whether I'd be in Bulgaria past the end of February 2007. Now, if you've wondered why my heretofore stellar blogging slacked off/died. Now you know. I just got tired of worrying whether what I wrote was taboo or meeting someone else's standards culturally or otherwise.

Here's what caused the fire-storm (from 31 Jan 2007 which since Feb '07 has been a castrated/clipped version of what's below):

Not a whole lot for today and no pictures, mainly b/c I really just don't want to. I had an interesting day trying to get from one thing to another. I was half way to work when I remembered that I still needed to pay my electricity bill (no electricity right now=no heat=a VERY bad thing), and it's the last day of the month. So the story goes like this. I went to pay YESTERDAY (the bills can't be paid for the previous month until the 20th for some dumb reason . . . go figure), but I show up and there's a plastic card up at the window where I usually pay, I go up and stand there for a second and the lady very crudly (nothing unusual) goes 'What?' I responded that I wanted to pay my bill, and she very gruffly responds 'You can't pay. The program is not working.'

'Do you know when the program will work again?' 'No, we DON'T know.' Such wonderful customer service here . . . So I walk to work at around the normal time today, and half way there, I remember that I haven't paid my bill so I have to return to town and go to the ATM to get the money to pay bills. I try first to see if Peace Corps (PC) has deposited our monthly allowances and check my balance first . . . it doesn't work . . . the lady behind be goes up and it works for her. I try to withdraw . . . still doesn't work. I'm pretty frustrated, angry, pick your word, at this point. I now have to walk another hundred-200 yards away (not that big a deal, but when my colleagues are expecting me at the museum to work on text for the Rome Exhibit, it's not cool at all). Anyway, the other ATM works and I pay my bills. I make my way to the museum only to get there and find out they want me to type (like the Word Processing class you took in high school) half a page of text and nothing too original. Not that bad, but not the most challenging work I've ever had to do. Ok, I think that's about enough for today.

Again, not the sweetest of grapes, but who wouldn't be pissed after that? So, after that Koub came to my rescue, keeping me from destroying something in the town or myself. As a salve, a couple pics. Oddly enough, my beard only makes me look more destraught in the pictures as we were doing the 'Winter Beard-off 2007 Contest of Manliness', so the beard was 3 months along or more at that point. Mardi Gras (when we--COUGH COUGH I) shaved them off. Everyone else quit early. So here are a couple.



This . . . (notice that the Koub had already--a couple days/weeks early shaved his down to a Musketeer-like moustache & chin-poof) All though at that point I wasn't complaining . . . company was good that weekend.
And this . . . morphed . . .
into . . . this . . .
and this (Doc Holliday's got nothing on me!) . . . and landed . . .
On this . . . can I get an encore on the drinks?!

BUT before all that . . . there was Bluegrass in Sofia and the only true gathering of the Winter Beard-off Brothers of the bush . . . that sounds weird . . . oops. Me, Koub, & Trevor.

Now, hopefully, back to normal:

Books: Freedom Rising by Ernest Ferguson an account of the immediate events leading to the Civil War & the Civil War in D.C. which I picked up at the Lincoln Memorial when I made my first visit there. Osman's Dream, the author of which I can't remember and am too lazy to get up and look up, is a history of Osman's Empire . . . i.e. the Ottoman Empire. Oh, and I'm reading a LOT of The Onion lately . . . every Thursday it hits newsboxes.

Weather: I swear I bring warmer/warm-ish weather with me to places that have colder winters. With the exception of this week and a couple weeks in Jan. The weather's been mild. Even during those weeks it's been milder than normal. By milder, at times I mean more miserable b/c it's been warm enough to rain, but not quite cold enough to snow. Windy & cold right now, rainy and some snow & ice every now & then . . . may clear & warm up starting tomorrow.

AFN
DCC, 13 February 2008
Washington, D.C., apartment